Friday, August 31, 2007

PARANOMASIA or "Yes Ma'am!"

Turns out that Candace is a punster. Punster of all punsters, actually. And of course, Gawpo has himself been known, on third and long, to occasionally drop back ten yards and pun. So it seemed appropriate to delve.

The "Yes Ma'am" part of the title to this post comes from a comments interaction with Candace during which time she pretty much commanded me to post again. So, being the obedient soldier that I am, I basically said, "How high?" What I didn't want was a flank assault by Armander. When Candace says, "Dance," then it's time to do the BOSSanova. Working SWINGshift affords plenty of opporTUNEity to STEP up to the plate.

There is one other fellow Blogger who can pun with the best of 'em. I wonder what she will come up with?

Now let's just think for a minute. Where do you think puns come from? Cabbage patch is out. I already checked. Thought I'd give you a HEADS up. Got to the CORE of that myth. Not a SHRED of truth to it. And I had to LEAF through four books until I found the answer. Let me tell you, when I got there, I couldn't believe what I slaw.

See? It's not only painful. It's fun.

In paranomasial fashion, you too can amaze friends (well, soon-to-be former friends) with your clever wit.

After reading about puns, I learned something that I did not know before. And that is that a pun can be considered word play based on something other than to treat homonyms as synonyms. And you can read all about that here.

Remember Norm Crosby? I found a great quote by him that goes: "When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty."

Norm was the King of the malapropism. He spoke from his "diaphragm" and drank "decapitated" coffee. Personally---and thanks to high doses of Norm in the 60s---I often refer to the person who greets me in the doctor's office as the "perceptionist." Mr. Gawpo, Sr. was full of these malapropisms. Come on. When I can get a psychiatrist friend to double over in laughter every time I see his pager and I refer to him as an "on-call-ogist," it's all worth it. Believe me---that right there is some funny stuff.

I don't know what you would call a person who reverses the first letters of words. But that's me. Such utterances as "sockcucking, futhermucking bunofasitch" are not words I have heard anyone else come up with. Thumb to kink of it, that's not such a thad bing, now is it?

Enough about puns. Now this completely unrelated quote....


The following quote comes from a performer who plays the guitar and sings. Any guesses (without Google-ing!)?

"All I can think of is my love for James Taylor," he said. "Do I have every one of James Taylor's records? Yes. Do I have the Greatest Hits album that's just the white cover. Yeah. ... Do I have his latest greatest hits [CD] that has those same things on it? Yeah, I do. And, for me, the reason why James is worth it is because his music is the soundtrack of my life."



At Friday, August 31, 2007 at 9:25:00 PM PDT , Blogger lime said...

i have no idea who offered the quote but were i to hazard a guess i'd say something ridiculous like ozzy osbourne,alice cooper, or gene simmons....

the intial reversals you don't know the term for are called spoonerisms. i pink thuns are fimply sabulous.

At Friday, August 31, 2007 at 9:26:00 PM PDT , Blogger lime said...

oh and shel silverstein wrote an entire story in spoonerisms. it's called 'runny babbit' and it is hilarious.

At Friday, August 31, 2007 at 9:30:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

LIMERS: Ok, cool. I did not know that. I was not AWARE of that. Spoonerisms. Makes sense because they do sort of spoon each other. Nice. Very nice.

Not correct on the guess, but you are heading down the correct path because it is someone I would never have thought would come up with that sort of admiration for J.T. who is nowhere near their genre.

LIMERS: GET OUT OF MY BRAIN! Guess what I just read TODAY!!!! The Triving Gee! Lo nie. Stue Trory!

At Friday, August 31, 2007 at 9:31:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

LIMERS: Also, I was so close to calling you tonight on my way home from work, but I didn't because I thought it would be too late (your time). Hello, FRIEND!!! xo

At Friday, August 31, 2007 at 11:18:00 PM PDT , Anonymous Brooke said...

Ok, I'm really curious to see who it is that said that quote... Um, Steven Tyler? Hmmm... or someone younger? Vince Neil? I have not a clue. But I'll be checking back to see.

At Saturday, September 1, 2007 at 1:03:00 AM PDT , Anonymous Mac Doom said...

"high doses of Norm [Crosby] in the 60s" -- that explains -so- much.

At Saturday, September 1, 2007 at 6:20:00 AM PDT , Blogger lime said...

oh the giving tree makes me get all misty every time. i just love it. sel shilverstein is breally rilliant and fuper sunny. more trivia...did you know he regularly wrote for 'playboy?' tris tue!

ok, next JT guess...tommy lee? slash?

At Saturday, September 1, 2007 at 8:33:00 AM PDT , Blogger bazza27 said...

I can't do puns to order, they just happen when they happen, so no pun here. Spoonerisms, I believe named after the Reverend Spooner, Imagine being famous for something like that, now that's cool. As for the quote, I'm going for Lars Frederikson, or maybe Derek from Sum 41.

At Saturday, September 1, 2007 at 11:01:00 AM PDT , Blogger Nana-g said...

Marilyn Manson. That is my guess. limers and gawpo love your brains.

At Saturday, September 1, 2007 at 1:57:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

BWOOKIE: Teven Styler, no. Nince Veil, no again. Do check back, though. In genre, go farther away. Make like a baby dinosaur trapped in a petrified egg and try to get out of rock altogether.

MAC DOOM: Big Cheshire Grin. You know me so well. And for so long. What is it? Thirty-five years now. Wow. That's way longer than both of us had been alive when we first met at 18.

LIMERS: As a matter of fact, I did know that he wrote for Playboy. I didn't read the articles, either. Of course not. I only opened them for the Gahan Wilsons.

BAHzer: Those performers' names have such a British ring to them. Wonder why. But nope. Guess again. I won't question your answer.

NANNER-GEE: Marilyn Manson cannot be spoonerized. So I reject the attempt completely. lol! Nope. I love that you love my and Limer's brains. I think a lot of that.

At Saturday, September 1, 2007 at 2:27:00 PM PDT , Anonymous Jackie said...

I know what I call a person who reverses the first letter of words - and wouldn't you like to know!!

At Saturday, September 1, 2007 at 2:42:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

JACKIE: Ha! A bupid stum? A bum dastard? Here's one for friend and I just came up with the one for Boat Garage.

At Saturday, September 1, 2007 at 4:25:00 PM PDT , Anonymous Michael said...

I usually sign birthday cards hippy barthday, or occasionally barfday.

My guess on quote: Edge, or Santana.

At Saturday, September 1, 2007 at 4:30:00 PM PDT , Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Man it is good to feel the energy here at your blog!

At Saturday, September 1, 2007 at 4:54:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

MICHAEL: I like that switch-a-roo, as well.

Good guesses. Not on the genre target, though.

EOTR: What? You like to see me blush like this? Sheesh. You have no idea.

At Saturday, September 1, 2007 at 5:12:00 PM PDT , Blogger ARM said...

And things slowly start making sense. Like, how high are "high doses of Norm in the 60's"?

Yeah, my flank assaults are pretty deadly. You're very lucky that it was just Candace commanding this time.

I do love the puns...I just wish I could come up with them more often.

At Saturday, September 1, 2007 at 5:21:00 PM PDT , Blogger lime said...

well, spoonerisms don't HAVE to be initial sounds so we could turn marilyn manson into manilyn marson ;)

jimi hendrix is my next guess

At Saturday, September 1, 2007 at 9:24:00 PM PDT , Anonymous cindra said...


Jackson Browne

Garth Brooks

Justin Timberlake

At Sunday, September 2, 2007 at 8:18:00 AM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

ARMANDA: Well, let me put it this way. Doses were so high that, when we didn't have the Norm drug, we made our own. Yeah. One time we made some bad shit and none of the words made any sense at all. Our Mom had to talk us down. It was ugly. She pronounced everything correctly.

LIMERS: Himi Jendrix? Nope. You aren't making like a baby dinosaur trapped inside that petrified egg. You need to get OUT of the rock!

CHEENDRUH!: No. Yes. No.


Yes, it is Garth Brooks.

At Sunday, September 2, 2007 at 8:57:00 AM PDT , Blogger Logophile said...

I am quite famous for unintentional spoonerisms here locally but I never do them right when I try to do them on purpose
Hello! By the way...
You and Candace are both very punny and I never, ever would have guessed that would be Garth Brooks, wow. Who knew?

At Sunday, September 2, 2007 at 8:57:00 AM PDT , Blogger Logophile said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At Sunday, September 2, 2007 at 10:50:00 AM PDT , Blogger Pam Aries said...

I love puns! yours gave me a giggle! ..I love James Taylor ,too! I met him once in the late 70's on Martha's Vinyard in some pub! As a matter of fact , now that I think of it , I have met a few celebs in pubs..hmmm.... (Billy Joel, Donna Summer, Joe Walsh in pubs) Oh..I'm sorry ...we were talking about puNs not puBs!

At Sunday, September 2, 2007 at 12:56:00 PM PDT , Anonymous Brooke said...

So Cindra, did you google it or did you guess it right? Hm?

At Sunday, September 2, 2007 at 2:00:00 PM PDT , Anonymous Kat said...

I think I'm your mother's lost twin. I say everything correctly too and despite a rather impressive IQ, am totally baffled at why people think puns are funny. My loss! Nice to see you posting again...Candace is right.

At Sunday, September 2, 2007 at 4:33:00 PM PDT , Blogger Katie McKenna said...

funny! :) I went and checked out your links... turn a left turn at the pun maker...then another at the peace maker......finally made it back :)

Hope you are enjoying your free time!

At Sunday, September 2, 2007 at 6:12:00 PM PDT , Blogger Nana-g said...

soving mucks, mo such.

At Sunday, September 2, 2007 at 7:04:00 PM PDT , Blogger Dan said...

Sockcucking, futhermucking bunofasitch! Now why didn't I think of that!

At Sunday, September 2, 2007 at 9:23:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

PHOGOLILE: I got my friend, Brian doing it so much that he and his wife were walking their infant in the stroller and he says, "Hey, let's go over there and use the widesalk," without even thinking about it. He had to tell me about it the next day we worked together.

PAM ARIES: Too COOL! You are lery vucky. That's a lot of 'em. And so close and intimate, too. That is awesome. I'm envious. That never happens to this guy. Hooty Hoo!!!

BROOKE: I actually think what she told me was that she had already seen it by surfing and quite by accident had read it BEFORE I even posted it. I was just giving her some crap. But isn't that just too much! Cool, huh?

KAT: Well, who let YOU out of the bag?! Someone has to not like puns. I was one among the few who couldn't stand Lucille Ball's humor. Strange, huh?

KATIE: Isn't that the way it is? You go to the library to find a book and then spend hours and hours going from distraction to distraction. Nice. Hope you enjoyed the trip. Glad to have launched you toward that.

NANA-G: Do you mean soving lucks? If so, then, yes. Seems to be that season, huh?

DAN: It was there somewhere in your prescient ooze, believe me. It was just a matter of time. Now I think I'll go shake a tower and pake a tiss, crake a tap and maybe even shake a tit.

At Sunday, September 2, 2007 at 10:35:00 PM PDT , Blogger Nana-g said...

Nope gawpo, right now I am so busy with moving, soving even if it lucked would be a pleasant change.

At Monday, September 3, 2007 at 1:13:00 AM PDT , Blogger Candace said...

Wah Hoooo!! I love Spoonerisms, too! And Tom Swifties. :) (or Som Twifties)

Well done Gawpo! I think you're very lucky, indeed, that Amanda didn't have to mount an attack on your flank. She would have T-boned you. I'd steak my reputation on it. If you fall behind in posting again, though, you'd better gird your loins because she'll be on you like white on rice. Cubed, even. Yep, it'll be quite the rumpus if you're not careful. She might even enlist some of her mignonsto help filet you. I'll be watching, cuz that's a rare treat.

At Monday, September 3, 2007 at 1:14:00 AM PDT , Blogger Candace said...

Is Darth Brooks a sith lord?

At Monday, September 3, 2007 at 10:01:00 AM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

NANA-g: Oh! Ha! I get it now. I needed to lengthen the "o" to get that. Good. Yes, even if it sucks, it's better than moving.

CANDANCIA: Or Swom Tifties. You can go both ways on some of 'em, huh? Like my favorite name to swap is: Jack Kriz.

All I have to say in reply to that BASTING is the group of sounds written out on the screen during a Batman episode: Biff! Whack! Bam! Pow!

That totally KILLED ME TO DEATH!!!! I took a good RIBBING that time.

DANDCACE. No. But Chad Vader is.

At Monday, September 3, 2007 at 2:42:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gillian @ Indigo Blue said...

What is with the puns? I love puns. I know it takes an extremely smart person to pun. That makes you one of the smartest people I know.
You is sucking fmart.
Blue shmoo

At Monday, September 3, 2007 at 2:50:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

G.@.I.B.: (Ha!!! That was fun)....well, I dunno for sure. As with all things funny, I think it's the surprise that of its being so obvious, yet so hidden. Just like sex. Wuh? Anyway.....

So you think I'm sucking fmart, do you? Would you also think that I am Smucking Fart? (did you really miss that one???)

I just wrote your Mommy. Twice. We iz communicatin' Tig Bime.

At Monday, September 3, 2007 at 7:56:00 PM PDT , Blogger vicci said...

For your SUMMER Pleasure.......

A hangover is the wrath of grapes....

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.....

When two egoists meet, it's an I for an I.........

Propaganda: A gentlemanly goose.....

Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

I've seen fire and I've seen rain...oh yes....:-)

At Monday, September 3, 2007 at 9:43:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

VICCANCE!: Ah...I knew you'd come through. Those were good.

Hey, it's just started to rain. I can hear it now. Began as a light mist and now it's all-out drops. Nice.

Thinking of you. Have a great end of summer!


At Tuesday, September 4, 2007 at 2:28:00 AM PDT , Blogger Ps said...

punny punny Gawpo..So long since I spoke to you my friend.After I come back from kerala (yep i leave on the day after tomorrow) I shall look for you on skype.
Take care.

At Tuesday, September 4, 2007 at 7:04:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gillian @ Indigo Blue said...

Yesh. I know and thank you. It means heaven and earth combined to the both of us. We relish you. I am here to ketch-up on your kind spirit. You are a hot doggin blogger, with dijon. I hope you aren't roasting in Oregon-o. I hope your weather is being cooperative. Hope the flying goes well. We think of you often, you of the injured back and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's nest ways. And for that, we give thanks. Praise. The Lord! No really.
I am just silly tonight. Forgive me.
Kinda like being in your living room and poking you in the bicep repeatedly, you know, I am that kind of annoying.
That sweet chick up there talks of Skype. Fut the Wuck is she talking about ? I am, to quote the famous Cheendra....A Techno Tard.
I know its technological, I have heard it before.
Mon dieu!

At Tuesday, September 4, 2007 at 8:53:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

PS: I now have to educate the Indigo Azul in the ways of the Skype. She means well in her techo-nerdishisly noodle of unknowing, and so we must minister to her in kind and gentle cloud-dispelling chants. Hello, dear Ps! Hello and hello and all manner of hello.

You shall return and I shall Skype you. (oh, she must be

MS. G@IBLUE: You got some pun goin' on in there. And I love you both, of course, you know. Oh, man. The thought of you sitting there and poking the bicep. Over and over and annoyingly over is a hoot and a half. Yes. I can see that. You must try the ways of the Skype. I couldn't believe that I could be talking in full voice (with a bit of a delay) to my friend in India and my friend in Rome and my friend who is my flight instructor over in Otter Rock, not that far away, but long distance---ALL FOR FRIGGIN' FREE!!!

It would be fun to talk, yes? Go get it and email me and then we need to see if we can conference call on it. That might be a bit much, though. The delay and all. And the delay is no worse when talking to India than it is 15 miles away. Weird. xo. G

At Wednesday, September 5, 2007 at 6:55:00 PM PDT , Blogger Candace said...

Har! I love Vicci's stuff!! ^_^

I'm going to poke you in the other bicep.


**poke poke**



At Wednesday, September 5, 2007 at 9:34:00 PM PDT , Blogger Claire said...

I love JT as well and I listen to the white covered greatest hits CD when I feel nostalgic. Different music for different moods.

At Wednesday, September 5, 2007 at 9:36:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

CANDACIA: Ouch! Ouch! Okay! OKAY!!!


At Wednesday, September 5, 2007 at 9:38:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

Oh, CLAIRE: Ha! You just now popped in right after I gave in to Candace. Amazing timing. We were here together, Claire. Good going on the JT music. Got to see him live in Battle Ground, Washington at the fair grounds not so long ago, thanks to my friend, Jaimie.

At Thursday, September 6, 2007 at 4:55:00 PM PDT , Blogger goldennib said...

This was so much pun to read. That's the best I can do.

At Thursday, September 6, 2007 at 7:39:00 PM PDT , Blogger Candace said...

I just wasted a whole bunch of knitting puns over at Egan's blog. :-/ ^_^

Gonna put me in the pokey for that abuse? Bar me from your blog? Cuff me around? I raise a glass to you for this lovely blog. **clink** }:-)

At Thursday, September 6, 2007 at 9:34:00 PM PDT , Blogger AnnieElf said...

Falling over my keyboard laughing. I LOVE!!!!!!!! puns.

At Friday, September 7, 2007 at 1:24:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

NIBBY: And so glad you liked it. Even though it wasn't the kind of read that blows in the wind.

CANDACIA: Well, I get your point and will go read them, then. Hope you needled him really good. And also hope the whole thing doesn't unravel. I hate to knit-pick, but you know ME.

All your poking has left me bruised for life. That behavior would never CELL in the open market.

ANNIE FROM TURLOCK: Isn't she good?

At Friday, September 7, 2007 at 1:38:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gillian @ Indigo Blue said...

Courtesy of Viccance!
Blue aka Indigo Azul

At Friday, September 7, 2007 at 1:56:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

INDIGO AZUL: That brought huge love tears welling up from the depths of all that is beautiful. Thanks to both of you!

xoXO! G

At Friday, September 7, 2007 at 8:53:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gillian @ Indigo Blue said...

50! Yes guy! I am 50!!!
Okay, got that out of my system.
Watching that made me all welly. I love true love.

At Sunday, September 9, 2007 at 11:41:00 AM PDT , Blogger goldennib said...

Are you game? Please play with me.

At Sunday, September 9, 2007 at 4:26:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

BLUE TSG AKA: G@IB: You are 50? 50 what?

50 what?

NIBBY: Wow. That looks fun. But I don't think I can put in the time. My second of three days off this month is coming up on Tuesday. I am going to go fishing for Chinook salmon. And the take my friends out to dinner for their anniversary.


At Sunday, September 9, 2007 at 4:51:00 PM PDT , Blogger goldennib said...

You only get 3 days off a month?

At Sunday, September 9, 2007 at 5:04:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

NIBBY: This month, yes. We need to fill five positions. So lots of overtime to keep the spinning plates from falling from the sticks.

At Monday, September 10, 2007 at 8:02:00 AM PDT , Blogger somewhere joe said...

You're back - in all your pundacious glory! Or I'm back, in all mine. I did hear that you got called away to a daycare - where a child was reisting a rest. Are you free to cake a momment?

At Monday, September 10, 2007 at 10:29:00 AM PDT , Blogger Mayden' s Voyage said...

Ahh- James Taylor...a Carolina man-
I love him too-
and you are quite punny :)

At Tuesday, September 11, 2007 at 9:41:00 AM PDT , Blogger Diesel said...

We had a family friend who used to do such things as "gouge" himself at buffets.

My wife has been known to declare that she is "So hucking fungry!"

At Tuesday, September 11, 2007 at 1:04:00 PM PDT , Blogger Candace said...

Just came back to rib you a little more. Joe has me in stitches. Wait. Did somoenone already use that one? Well, he does anyway. ^_^

Come and make up some MPAA ratings categories on my blog, eh? I can't wait to see what you might have for me. ^_^ I'm not screening comments, so you can leave as many as you like. Your words always leave a film of happiness on my day. Hope you're OK with that admission. Anyway, it's time to take action. Yeah, that's the ticket.

At Tuesday, September 11, 2007 at 8:12:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gillian @ Indigo Blue said...

I am the 50th commenter. Come on!

At Wednesday, September 12, 2007 at 6:24:00 AM PDT , Blogger Candace said...

Oh *I* get it! If you leve it up long enough, it will garner hundreds of comments.

OK how many do you need before you post again? I'm prepared to play that game. . . }:->

At Wednesday, September 12, 2007 at 7:49:00 AM PDT , Blogger Candace said...


At Wednesday, September 12, 2007 at 7:50:00 AM PDT , Blogger Candace said...


At Wednesday, September 12, 2007 at 7:50:00 AM PDT , Blogger Candace said...


At Wednesday, September 12, 2007 at 7:50:00 AM PDT , Blogger Candace said...


At Wednesday, September 12, 2007 at 7:50:00 AM PDT , Blogger Candace said...

time. . .

At Wednesday, September 12, 2007 at 4:48:00 PM PDT , Blogger Jay said...

I am almost ashamed of how much I giggled at this.

At Thursday, September 13, 2007 at 5:03:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

SOMEWHERE JOE: I hope you kiked my lomment, the which I bleft on your log.

MAYDEN CORA: Yes. I had forgotten that. He is from S.C., now isn't he? You, however, are most famous to my heart.

DIESEL: That is swucking feet---that your wife has dabbled. She is no bum ditch, that's for sure.

CANDACIA: Wow. Your preview of the coming attraction is the headliner of my day.

BLUE TSG: That guy is Sofa King funnay! But that picture of that bocking mird has holen my start.

CANDACIA: I need a hundred and twelve. You are so smart.



CANDACIA: getting











JAY: Shameful, Jay. Shameful.

At Friday, September 14, 2007 at 4:31:00 AM PDT , Blogger Gillian @ Indigo Blue said...

I've bestowed upon you, the highest honour.
Go see my place~!

At Friday, September 14, 2007 at 9:31:00 AM PDT , Blogger Gemma said...

Yove Lou

At Friday, September 14, 2007 at 9:48:00 AM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

BLUE TSG: I am SO on that! Can't wait.

Loves, G

GEMMER: And I youve lou, too! That was swo seet!


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