Thursday, May 15, 2008

"I knew I shoulda taken that left"

There aren't many people who don't remember Bugs Bunny's famous line when I tell them I am going to Albuquerque. Or, "Albuhkoikee," as Bugs would pronounce it.

So yesterday I flew to Albuquerque. The lovely Amber was waiting for me at the foot of the escalator and not much later, we were on our way to the bag claim. Yes, I said bag claim. In New Mexico---or Albuquerque, anyway---that's what all the signs say: Bag claim. Now I can't help but wonder what people are going to be saying to each other about getting into a new relationship when THIS way of talking takes hold across America: "Gee, I liked the guy, but he came with a lot of bag." Or, "Yeah, she was HAWGHT, Dude. But between her kids and her mother, I just couldn't handle the bag."

Back to Amber. Had it not been for her kindness, I'd have had to get on some shuttle and dropped of at some disclosed location in Santa Fe where I would THEN have had to be picked up. But this woman has a huge heart and I am deeply in her debt. Or in her brain. Probably more the latter. We talked like girlfriends who had all their lives to get caught up on. We TAWKED. We broke up into small groups and discussed.

This is Amber. What a face. Very, very smart. Very, very funny.

The reason I came to New Mexico was to attend friends. George and Janet live where I do in Oregon, but they have a daughter (Melissa) whose daughter, Sadie, is graduating from High School. That's all I had to hear. I bought a ticket the day I was invited.

As Amber and I were tawking at mad paces, I was snapping pics along the way. I like to photograph road signs. Moments after Amber and I arrived at the house, Janet pulled in. Said she had car trouble. Overheated. Was stuck on the side of the road. Amber and I looked at each other: We saw a car pulled over with a cop about half a mile behind, also parked on the side of the road. Was that you, Janet? For the heck of it, I checked my photo gallery.

Yep. That was Janet with the Prestone can at her feet. Did we stop to help? Heck no! We
were tawking!

Recognize the clothing on that hottie blonde on the left? Sadie, the graduate,
was not home yet. But her two sisters enjoyed the story. Lucia far right. Mexika
(mah-SHEE-kuh) to Lucia's right.

My flight out of PDX (Portland) was at 10 a.m. So I got there early. I entered the building at about 7:40, walked up to the kiosk, punched in my confirmation number, presented my one BAG to later claim, brought it over to the nice man attendant at the huge X-Ray place, then presented my passport and boarding pass at the security checkpoint, listened to the "this is a security announcement" recording for only maybe a dozen times, and I had my shoes back on by 8:02. Had some time to kill. Or, as I like to think of it----give life to. I entered the Starbucks line. When it was my turn, I said to the pretty young lady, "I'd like a B double F C with no RFC." With a half second gaze into my eyes, she reached for a clear plastic cup and as she began lifting it from the stack I said, "Nope." She replaced the cup and started whispering the letters to herself. Then she asked me to repeat the letters. "I'll have a B double FF C with no RFC." She gave up. I leaned in and whispered, "A big, fat fuckin' coffee with no room for cream." She took it well. She smiled. Then she said that it might have been interesting if I'd just let her make something that matched the letters. Dang. Why didn't I think of that?

With my B double F C in tow, I walked over to a small table and fired up my new black MacBook for the very first time in a public setting to take it for a Wi-Fi ride. Not long after beginning this very post, I heard a woman say to her female companion, "And they said they kept calling my name, but I didn't come." I pivoted in my chair to the woman speaking. When she looked at me, I pointed at her and said, "YOU missed a flight." Big smile. I told her my story from two blog posts ago and even showed her on my laptop. While we were talking, the very airplane that I missed was taxiing past the windows. I confirmed this by matching the tail number to picture of the plane I missed two posts ago. Amazing.

Asha and Lili and I spent some wonderfully friendly time. Asha's flight was a bit earlier than Lili's and mine, so she had to leave us. But we all hugged before parting. I love becoming human.

Lili on the left, Asha on the right.

Founders of the Missed Flights (West Coast Chapter), Asha and Gawpo.

While Lili and I waited, these guys happened. Be sure to biggen by clicking and check the dude's massive sunglass visor and oxygen hose.

I'll take Things That Fly, Alex. Okay, and the answer is: THE DAILY DOUBLE! All of it, Alex. All of it...

We're headed into Santa Fe to an art show. Ciao4niao, Peeps!


At Friday, May 16, 2008 at 12:50:00 PM PDT , Blogger Candace said...

OMG I can't believe the exact same plane was there taxiing by.

Lovely Eagles! :)

At Friday, May 16, 2008 at 2:15:00 PM PDT , Anonymous Cameron said...

Sounds like a great trip -- thanks for sharing. Nice photos!

You needed a passport to fly from Oregon to New Mexico??? Wuul, sah, ah reckon it IS a dif'rent country!

Bags 'n all.

At Friday, May 16, 2008 at 6:28:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

CANDACIA: Yeah. True, dat. I just went back a couple posts and there it was. Toof Unny, huh?

CAMERON: Cams, here's why I decided to bring the passport. My license expired on my birthday. March 30th. I flew March 31st. Even though I had a a valid 30 day extension which I presented to the lady at the ticket counter, she flagged my boarding pass with the dreaded "S S S S." I learned about that in the upcoming half hour it took to get me all patted down, Garrett wanded, and my camera and other items dragged over with a gunshot residue/bomb making materials patch. Yeah. Not fun. So now I just bring the passport.

At Friday, May 16, 2008 at 7:03:00 PM PDT , Anonymous quilly said...

That last photo is spectacular!

At Friday, May 16, 2008 at 8:17:00 PM PDT , Blogger Cheesy said...

"Or, as I like to think of it----give life to." Babe I can SO hear you saying that!
Dude stay out of the shadows in your photos.. let the sweety that is you SHINE!!! Have a lovely time and glad to see your ions posting! You never call you never visit~~ oy...BTW lol @ the bfc!
I leave on my jet plane in 22 days!! Weeeeeeeeeeee

At Saturday, May 17, 2008 at 12:06:00 AM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

CHEESELOUEESE:Get thee to the new Narnia flick. Just got back and we all loved it. I will come out from the shadows. Just for you. I was reviewing our visit-pics the other day. And yeah, time for a renewal. Get thee thine own wonderful self over here. I'm taking some days off in July. OY!

At Saturday, May 17, 2008 at 6:20:00 AM PDT , Blogger Cheesy said...

July is duly noted! I am in NEED of ocean breezes. You are missing the heat wave here at home.. Was 93 in Newport at 1pm yesterday!

At Saturday, May 17, 2008 at 8:29:00 AM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

CHEESEMELT: Yeah. I got a text message saying that Dave Selesky reported on KGW that Newport had the highest state temperature. Not Brookings? Wowzers. I am glad I missed it, actually. Too hot for this PNWer refugee from the San Joaquin Valley. New Mexico enjoyed very mild upper 60s with the usual Land of Enchantment sky show of changing cloudscape. The sunset was simply breathgiving.

At Saturday, May 17, 2008 at 7:22:00 PM PDT , Blogger somewhere joe said...

The funniest part was your obliviously passing Janet stuck on the road, on the way to her house. Pure Looney Toons. But then I saw the road sign, in kilometers, and realized that it was all an elaborate hoax staged at the Shepperton Studios in Great Britain. Very funny. Next time make sure they use miles. Reminds me of those old biblical epics where every once in a while you'll see a centurion's wristwatch.

Of course you realize, mon peaux, that according to the laws of vernacular, every transferance has an equal and opposite transferance. For every, "...but he came with a lot of bag," we'll be hearing "thanks, man, but hip hop is just not my baggage."

Lovely ladies surrounded by you are. Including the twins in the last photograph - bet those babes are high maintenance...

At Saturday, May 17, 2008 at 8:10:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

SOMEWHERE JEAUX: Dang. You caught it. Same studio used for the "lunar landing" way back in six-niner. They work cheap, they told me. Now I see why. I'm sure you're letting me off easy because I just KNOW you caught the fact that the posed "Janet" on the roadway's two white strips on her sleeve run from top to bottom, and the real Janet's run bottom to top. There. I gave you an out.

I am slapping my knees on the "equal and opposite" spin you put on the "b" word. Dang, Joe. That right there is funnylicious.

High maintenance ain't the word for it. More like Class A airspace maintenance (18,000 and above).

I sent you a cell phone pic, hopefully to the right email address, from Taos. Yeah. That's right. I said TAOS. You can touch me later.

At Saturday, May 17, 2008 at 10:09:00 PM PDT , Blogger Butch said...

Sounds like you had a great trip. The jet pictures were amazing. Were you on the ground or in an airplane for those shots?

I do not care for flying anymore. With Homeland Security the way it is, I am always pulled aside after failing the walk through machine without the bells, whistles, and lights going off. It immediately makes me think I'm the millionth person to walk through it and the balloons and confetti will be falling down any moment. I have an artifical knee replacement made of titanium. I even have a little card from my orthopaedist claiming I have a replacement. This doesn't seem to phase the security "specialists" who ask me to walk through it again, this time with out my cane. ;-) Of course, the bells and whistles go off again, where upon I am escorted over to the side where I feel like an extra in a Harry Potter movie being "wanded" to death. Being shoeless whilst they run my shoes and cane through the xray machine, they decide to re-scan me with the wand because I suppose he has nothing else to do. Then comes the "pat-down." I thought, well perhaps, there is a silver lining to this madness, but I have never felt a pat down so devoid of emotion, especially with the dorsal portion of the hand. Not even one grope. Hard to do with the back of one's hand I would imagine. I guess, they finally put their heads together and decided that considering my advanced age, being disabled to the point where I couldn't out walk them, let alone, out run them, I was considered safe to board. This happens every time I fly . . . ;-/ I don't fly very often anymore. ;-) In any event, I enjoyed your entry.

At Saturday, May 17, 2008 at 10:16:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

BUTCH: Oh, that is terrible! I have only had to go through the gauntlet the one time due to that nasty expiration of the driver license. I hate hearing that you get gutted of any trust, even with the note explaining the conditions. Very sad.

Well, I am still here in El Dorado, a small living community just outside Santa Fe. The run to Taos for the one hour gig of Mazatl was amazing and is next-up for a good posting.

Gladly, I was in the airport terminals when I shot those planes (but didn't shoot them down, of course). I wouldn't want to be anywhere near those guys for reals. It's never good when you are.

I am so happy you stopped by, Butch. See you over at your place.


At Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 11:52:00 AM PDT , Blogger lime said...

amber has the warmest looking smile. and i am dying about your coffee order. and oooo i am so envious about your murdered out macbook. ya know i told my mom this weekend about the mennonites being murdered out and how i cracked your ass up when i taught you about that.

have a great time in albakoikee!

bye screwy, see ya in saint looey! :D

At Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 5:04:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

LIMERS: Glad you liked the coffee order. Part of the Gawpoean schtick. The murdered out Mac is doing well right this very minute as I click away from the Albuhkoikee airport. HI, LIMERS!!!!!!!! xo, G

At Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 5:32:00 PM PDT , Anonymous Brooke said...

Awesome pics, as always, Gawpo. :) Thanks for sharing.

At Monday, May 19, 2008 at 1:04:00 PM PDT , Blogger Greg said...

Here we are, Pismo Beach and all the clams you can eat!!!

(Shoulda taken that left turn in Alberqueque, Bugs...)

Beautiful plane photos...

At Monday, May 19, 2008 at 8:49:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

BWOOKIE: You are oh, so very, very welcome. Are you packing? Better start cranking it up!

GREGGERS: Really? There are still some left? Has conservation kept the specie alive and well? Do tell for reals.

Glad you like the plane pics. A man after my own heart!

At Tuesday, May 20, 2008 at 11:45:00 PM PDT , Blogger Fanacht said...

re: Bugs and "Albuhkoikee"

It's funny, though, that whenever I say, "What a maroon!" people always look at me like they don't know what I'm talking about.

At Wednesday, May 21, 2008 at 11:49:00 AM PDT , Blogger Greg said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At Wednesday, May 21, 2008 at 11:50:00 AM PDT , Blogger Greg said...

Sad, isn't it, Fanacht? Too many of my classic Bugs quotes fall on deaf or unknowing ears these days...I was so excited to find all those old classic cartoons on YouTube...

Gawpo, I don't know about the clams at Pismo, but we still got plenty on the Cape...when the Red Tide lets us eat 'em...

At Thursday, May 22, 2008 at 7:49:00 PM PDT , Blogger Scarlet said...

Disfruta, amigo, disfruta.

At Friday, May 23, 2008 at 7:39:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gillian said...

Oh my word how I've missed you. Only to find you've up and shipped to Sante Fe!!!
I am gel-uts.
Oh so gel-uts!!
I think you will have a splendid time doing an art show mi amigo.
I'll have to fire up the old Rosetta Stone spanish to see what mi amiga up there is saying to you. Mui rapido por favor.
Post photos from the road!
I did get your photo~! My email is RRFUBAR
really really fucked up beyond allr repair.
Excuse my rotten potty mouth.

At Saturday, May 24, 2008 at 11:59:00 AM PDT , Blogger Diesel said...

Dude, I'd come by more often but I just can't handle all your bag. ;)

At Wednesday, May 28, 2008 at 8:47:00 PM PDT , Blogger Candace said...

Hum. After reading Joe's comment I got to thinking about Baggage Ladies. ^_^

At Thursday, May 29, 2008 at 7:07:00 AM PDT , Blogger mindy said...

wow gawpo, you make friends everywhere you go. i love that about you!!!

At Wednesday, June 4, 2008 at 8:16:00 PM PDT , Blogger murray said...

Hey Mr. Gawps,

We are like so twins. I was driving into PDX a couple of weeks ago and spotted two F-15's that looked to be on landing approach. Well, I couldn't be sure they were F-15's but let's assume they were for the sake of this story. So anyway we were at the same airport only a few days apart and we both saw a pair of Eagles, and that's almost a cosmic coincidence.

Oh yeah: I live much closer to you now!

At Thursday, June 12, 2008 at 2:04:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gawpo said...

FANACHT: And I was just watching a Bugs cartoon and he SAID it!!! Funny. What a maroon.

GREG: I hear there are still some Pismos. We get horrible red tides on the coast of Oregon. They set the cut-off at anything above 25 ppm on the demoic acid. We had a count in the high 200s a couple years ago and clamming has been closed as long as three years. Makes for good clamming when the toxicity subsides.

SCARLET: AWWWW. I still can't get into your blog. Por favor!!!! Mandame una otra invitacion!!!!

BLU TSG: Well, you can be all gel-uts agin, Sistuh, cuz now I'm soaking up the sun in the Central Valley of Cal If Orn Aye 'AY! YeeeeeHaaawwww!!!! I check your city's weather every day. It looks a bit better since a couple munce

Hope your email gets un-ucked-fup soon. Well? How is it now? I want to send you some vids with Mr. G, Sr.

xoxoxXXOO! G

DIESEL: I just took another picture of the water tower. I think I'll go edit my newest post and add it. Rip on, Brothuh!!!

CANDACIA: I can't think of Joe without thinking of baggage ladies. I'm ruined.

MINDANCE: Many generations of that going on in the Sicilian friendliness department. Making friends with strangers is my favorite thing to do. Hello, stranger!

MURRAY: I heard they were F-16s, but don't know how to tell them apart. All I know is that you and I got treated to some awesome boy stuff. That is incredible. You were there? Wow. I sure wish we could have met. But I guess we already sort of have. Hello, Brother Murray! Firm embrace from Gawpo inserted here...

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