Monday, June 04, 2007

Gifts From A Friend

06/07/07*****NOTE: Blogger wiped out the two pictures. Now does this post make ANY more sense with them replaced? Well? Or is it all just so much Urdo? (Whatever the heck that is, Sheila.)*****

Today I was presented with two wonderful gifts from my good friend, Deputy K. He had gone to Seattle to watch the Mariners lose to the Texas Rangers by a single, undeserved run. I am touched that he could still even think of me in his time of sorrowful mourning. Yet he did. And for that, I am eternally (in a plastic sort of way) grateful.

I have always wanted a plastic Jesus to have riding on the dashboard of my car. And now I have one. Now, finally, I truly can throw caution to the wind and not care if it rains or if it freezes. All of you who are old enough, know why. Thank you, Jason. Thank you so much.

And no, Candace, it does not say on the box whether these are left or right handed nunchucks. Believe me, I humored MuNKi and looked all over the box. What you will notice, however, are the little baby ammunition nuns at the bottom. I didn't catch it at first, but I see that the manufacturers took pains to include a Dominican (white), a Benedictine (black), a Carmelite (dark with light gray scapular) and that blue one. I don't know what that blue one could be. Maybe that's an S.N.J.M., also known as a Holy Names nun. Maybe she's that nun on the label of that sweet German virgin's milk wine that they drink over there. I've said it before on my and others' blogs, and I'll say it again right here: I am chronically beset with a strong urge to boil a kid in its mother's milk. Contrary to the Jewish dietary proscriptions of Deuteronomy 14:21, I struggle with this every day. Why do you think I took the easy route? Otherwise I'd be sporting the plastic Moses. Now I am finding myself wanting to boil a virgin in her own milk. I wonder if that is even possible. And this is just another fine example of why I should stay away from visiting Fab's blog.







At 82 years old, the performer of this next song announced the other day that he is retiring from acting. In this role, he is singing this song upon learning of the death of his mother.

Labels:

47 Comments:

At Monday, June 4, 2007 at 7:54:00 PM PDT , Blogger Sheila said...

I feel like I just landed and walked in on a conversation being held in Urdu, or something similar. I don't understand any of this. It is like I missed a post, or the point, or both. I understand the plastic Jesus, so I guess that makes me old. I am so old I remember when the plastic protector of choice in your vehicle was St Christopher.
I went to see Cool Hand Luke many years ago, and walked out after 20 minutes, I didn't understand that either. I'm so confused...Where am I
...???

 
At Monday, June 4, 2007 at 8:25:00 PM PDT , Blogger lime said...

well i can tell ya this, when my first limelette was born i coudl have easily produced enough milk to be boiled in....i was nto however a virgin....so that disqualifies me....

 
At Monday, June 4, 2007 at 8:40:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gill said...

Diggin the label for this post.
Like it deserves its own label. I am thinking, will there ever be another Plastic Jesus Cool Hand Luke Nunchuks posting from you G.
Answer; Likely, uh, NO.
So, you are killing me here with your humour. Which is, incredibly subtley funny. Is that spelled right?
Subtle-ly.
xo
Oh! Plastic Jesus or plastic who? Moses? Are we talking old versus new testaments here? I don't get it. I know the Jewish folks don't eat the milk and the meat together. Yikes, it almost makes me cringe. Oi vay.

 
At Monday, June 4, 2007 at 8:41:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gill said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At Monday, June 4, 2007 at 9:09:00 PM PDT , Blogger Jacob said...

SHEILA: Now don't panic when I tell you this. Promise me. K? But, Sheila...you're in....how can I say this gently? Um...well...you're in CANADA! Yes, Sheila. And that is the equivalent of dropping four hits of orange double-dome. Just hang in there. We're here with you. It will wear off when you move.

LIMERS: Hey, one out of two ain't bad. You were batting 500 and that's quite respectable.

BLUE TSG: Just go with it. You're doing fine, honest.

 
At Monday, June 4, 2007 at 9:15:00 PM PDT , Blogger Gill said...

Sensing a little sarcasm here G.

 
At Monday, June 4, 2007 at 9:20:00 PM PDT , Blogger Jacob said...

BLUE TSG: Gulp. You weren't supposed to be checking back. Uh-oh.....Gawpo is in biiiiiiiig trouble with the MOB for sure when SHE checks back. I'd better stock up on those Canadian Kugarands or whatever you guys spend up there.

 
At Monday, June 4, 2007 at 10:05:00 PM PDT , Blogger Sheila said...

Your kneecaps are toast..!

 
At Monday, June 4, 2007 at 11:26:00 PM PDT , Blogger Logophile said...

Many good and perfect gifts come from Washington.
Be nice to the Canadians!

 
At Tuesday, June 5, 2007 at 5:41:00 AM PDT , Blogger The Ferryman said...

You love me and you know you love me. So why don't you just admit it?

I know a nice little bed and breakfast in Vermont we can weekend at.

 
At Tuesday, June 5, 2007 at 6:19:00 AM PDT , Blogger mindy said...

cool hand luke!! nunchucks!!(i need some of those)
gawpo you are so cool!!

 
At Tuesday, June 5, 2007 at 6:44:00 AM PDT , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cool Hand Luke is cool.

You, Gawpo, are just a little strange. But you knew that, right?

 
At Tuesday, June 5, 2007 at 8:32:00 AM PDT , Blogger Nessa said...

The second picture won't load on my computer at work and the content blocker doesn't like it. Now I have to wait until I get home to see what little gem you have for us today.

 
At Tuesday, June 5, 2007 at 8:47:00 AM PDT , Blogger vicci said...

HUH???!!!! Hey...G...it seems like we are mentally in tune here...or somethin!!!! I posted something about Ass...(I mean donkey)...and nuns...too strange...or is it???? and I AM OLD!!!!!!!!
I have a plastic Virgin Mary on my dashbroad...I mean board!!!! :-)

 
At Tuesday, June 5, 2007 at 8:55:00 AM PDT , Blogger vicci said...

Oh..I forgot to ask you WHAT in the heck are you smokin lately!!!!????? (remember DO NOT INHALE)....(NOT YET ANYWAY)....

 
At Tuesday, June 5, 2007 at 1:02:00 PM PDT , Blogger armalicious said...

Gawpo, I hate to say it, but I'm in America and I have to agree with Sheila. I don't get this. But it's OK. I'll forgive you since you posted a clip of Paul Newman. He's so handsome!

 
At Tuesday, June 5, 2007 at 2:27:00 PM PDT , Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

This is a very powerful post, and you are using one of the best made films ever. Did you see Luke as a Christ figure? I did.

 
At Tuesday, June 5, 2007 at 4:29:00 PM PDT , Blogger Lisa Oceandreamer Swifka said...

OK, I am mighty glad I read some of the other comments here so I know I am not alone in my confusion. Actually Sheila said what i was feeling, like walking in to the middle of a convo. I won't even pretend to know what any of this meant nor do I have a pun or a quip. Did you see the movie Moonstruck? When the grandfather starts to cry and says "I'm so confused"? Well that's me, minus the crying!
Love you anyway!
XOXO

 
At Wednesday, June 6, 2007 at 3:12:00 PM PDT , Blogger Nessa said...

I can't see the second picture from home either. I am pouting.

 
At Thursday, June 7, 2007 at 12:38:00 AM PDT , Blogger Jacob said...

SHEILA: I figgered as much...heh-heh. That's why, the next time I travel across the border, I'm going in disguised as a young man with a very dangerous, highly resistant strain of tuberculosis.

LOGO: Yes, I know. And they are VERY good sports (i hope...)

FAB: Can I bring my cat? I said CAT.

MINDY: Yeah, well, that's what all the girls say. When I'm asleep.

QUILLY: Gnosko seauton ("Know thyself"). But I'm a cheap date, what with my nunchucks and all. And fun. Very fun.

NIBBY: Re-posting both pictures after they BOTH disappeared might help.

VICCI: Same concert in the 70s, same content on our blogs in the 00s. Why am I not surprised? I will go see.

I gave another pair of earrings away today. I feel like that guy on that old show, "The Millionaire." Remember that?

ARM: At least Newman saved the post. Were the pictures there and you still didn't get it? That's okay. I need critique. It helps me. Just not after sex, though, ok?

ENEMY OF THE REPUBLIC: I knew YOU would get it! You raise the bar on all fronts. No doubt you noticed the salvific tones (both under and over) of this great character role. His incarcerated associates are more like disciples than prison mates. What is Strother Martin's famous utterance if not an echo-smack of both Roman and Jewish persons in authority basically saying the same thing: "What we have here is a failure to communicate." Not to mention the fact that Harry Dean Stanton is in this film and Harry Dean is one of my all-time favs. And if you haven't heard him croon in Spanish, you haven't lived. Sweet, mellow voice.

You, Enemy, unlike the Sadducees, say you see, and yet you do.

LISAOCEANDREAMUH!: I am going to do an entire post dedicated to the word "confundere" (confusion). That might clear things up.

I so LOVE that movie, Lisa! And yes, the grandfather was way cute.

NIBBY-WIBBY: Now? Now can you see them? Or are you still fixating on the dead people?

 
At Thursday, June 7, 2007 at 7:11:00 AM PDT , Blogger Nessa said...

Gawpy: I, apparently, am the dead person. The photos are not making it to my ocular senses.

 
At Thursday, June 7, 2007 at 7:37:00 AM PDT , Blogger Jacob said...

NIBBILICIOUS: Dang! They are there. I just closed the comments box and went back to double check. Fut the wuck?!

p.s. I love it when you call me Gawpy. I feel cute.

 
At Thursday, June 7, 2007 at 7:51:00 AM PDT , Blogger Sheila said...

You can catch TB from Donkeys I believe..?
Actually, when I re-read this it made more sense. Perhaps I was having a senior momento..??
Hugs Gawpy.....
xo

 
At Thursday, June 7, 2007 at 2:52:00 PM PDT , Blogger Claire said...

"Enlightenment on a Spring" LOL!!!
'nuff said...

 
At Thursday, June 7, 2007 at 2:58:00 PM PDT , Blogger Jacob said...

SHEILA: Depending on what you are doing with them at the time, you can probably catch a lot of things! lol Yes, good. You got the joke. And I am loving Gawpy.

CLAIRE: Tote! More than 'nuff said.

 
At Thursday, June 7, 2007 at 3:11:00 PM PDT , Blogger armalicious said...

I think the pics were there when I read the post. But it's still not making sense. I don't know why. Me tired.

 
At Thursday, June 7, 2007 at 3:38:00 PM PDT , Blogger Jacob said...

ARM: Ah, good. Then the pics have helped you make sense of the post. For a minute there, I was beginning to worry. Thanks.

 
At Thursday, June 7, 2007 at 4:17:00 PM PDT , Blogger Sheila said...

Dear Gawpy,
(sounds kinda like the 8th dwarf doesn't it??)
Urdu is to be found here..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urdu
I hope this helps, the written alphabet is quite unusual...
I love it when I can show you something you did not know..
You are usually the teacher..
Hugs
xx

 
At Friday, June 8, 2007 at 2:24:00 AM PDT , Blogger Nessa said...

Well, I aim to please, Gawpy.

I can see them now. Apparently, our content blocker at work thinks everything is porn now. I am constantly dissappointed when I get home, look and it's NOT porn. That just ain't right.

Those is some cool prezzies.

 
At Friday, June 8, 2007 at 5:16:00 PM PDT , Blogger armalicious said...

In an act of shameless self promotion:
Go visit my blog - I have a new song up. I think you'll like it.

 
At Friday, June 8, 2007 at 9:25:00 PM PDT , Blogger Jacob said...

SHEILA: Hey, wait a minute. Isn't an Urdu like some sort of a gazelle? You yankin' Gawpy's chain, Sheila?

NIBBY: HEY! Isn't Gawpy trademarked and copyrighted? Or copywritten? Watever. I was afraid of this. Dang!

And yeah, how many guys have a real nunchucker with which to chuck nuns? I am the first on my block. Even though my block is about 680 square miles. Neither of us on this block had one until now.

ARM: Will do. I love when you promote yourself. You are at least an adjutant general by now.

 
At Saturday, June 9, 2007 at 5:00:00 AM PDT , Blogger Nessa said...

I didn't know. You're not a pelican, are you?

 
At Saturday, June 9, 2007 at 9:24:00 AM PDT , Blogger Jacob said...

GOLDENNIB: As you can see, I have addressed you by your full name. After sitting here for a full fifteen minutes and remaining stumped, I now jerk nose into air, turn head swiftly to left shoulder and exit room in a huffing stomp. Hmphf. I hate being stumped.

 
At Saturday, June 9, 2007 at 1:30:00 PM PDT , Blogger Sheila said...

URDU Gawpy! Not GNU..!

 
At Saturday, June 9, 2007 at 3:25:00 PM PDT , Blogger Nessa said...

And here I thought you were stumping me with your trademark comment. Gawpy was a character in a book series by Harold Hestwood from 1926 and he was a pelican. But maybe you were refering to the 16 year old from GB who plays some very scaring music on her MySpace?

 
At Saturday, June 9, 2007 at 3:29:00 PM PDT , Blogger Jacob said...

NIBBY: Okay, stumped and educated. No, I didn't know about Gawpy the pelican. I got the name from Cindra's youngest when she was 1.something years old and couldn't pronounce my real name. So who's this 16 year old, GB? Stumped again.

Are you trying for a clearcut?! LOL

 
At Saturday, June 9, 2007 at 3:29:00 PM PDT , Blogger Jacob said...

And GB is Great Britain, right? Or did you STUMP me on that, too??? Sheesh.

 
At Saturday, June 9, 2007 at 6:51:00 PM PDT , Blogger C said...

That would appear to be an ambidextrous nunchucker. ^_^

 
At Saturday, June 9, 2007 at 8:42:00 PM PDT , Blogger Jacob said...

CANDACIA: FINALLY! Now I can disable further commenting.

 
At Sunday, June 10, 2007 at 5:04:00 AM PDT , Blogger Nessa said...

Gawpy: I like the way you got your nickname. I think I'll stick with it.

If you put gawpy in the google search, a MySpace site comes up for a girl who goes by "Gawpy(TM)" She actually has the trademark symbol attached to her name. And yes, GB is Great Britian.

 
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