Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Can You Hear Me Now?

I have had many conversations with many burglars. One such was with a guy who told me that, when compared to the few times he did get caught, crime really does pay. He estimated that, over his career of approximately 12 years, he had stolen in value the equivalent of a number approaching seven figures (and no, Fab, Marilyn Monroe was not one of them). I have always been amazed at the human being's nearly infinite capacity to deceive himself; rationalization strikes deep in the heartland.

There are people who truly do not care how messed up your life becomes after they victimize you. The payoff is twofold: they get your stereo; you get to feel violated for the rest of your life. There are, however, a few burglars who do care. Driven only by a compulsion for a single object, they yield only to that urge that will satisfy their need to burgle while leaving the "victim" with a sense that what had been taken was simply misplaced. This truly is a victimless crime. No one gets hurt. And the burglar gets...........a bluetooth.

Compulsion wages its own war on a person. The person fights back as best he can. But to no avail. War, after all, is heck. We all fight our battles. But we also choose them carefully because in the end, not all wars are won by winning every battle.

That said, I can only add the following: INTER ARMA SILENT LEGIT (In time of war laws are silent...)


At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 at 2:55:00 PM PST , Blogger Cindra said...

Dude. Seriously? You think? It was...stolen?

That sucks.

At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 at 4:16:00 PM PST , Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

No, Cindra, I am the victim here. This weasel broke into my house and stole my Bluetooth.

You introduced us. I blame you.

I am on my way to exact vengeance.

At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 at 9:01:00 PM PST , Blogger Candace said...

I was going to ask whose Bluetooth you stole, but obviously it was Mr. Fab's.

Why is it called Bluetooth if it goes in your ear? Why not bluear? Or "Don't mind me, I'm not really talking to myself?" or "I'm so important I can't miss a single call"? ^_^

At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 at 9:55:00 PM PST , Blogger Gawpo said...

Cindra--go to Fab's blog. I fess up therein. I feel so naughty. I need to find a priest so I can confess and go straight to heaven after I am done in by Mr. Fabulous who, according to my new iMac FABTRACKER software puts him near Moab, on his way to rip my heart out and then do some really kinky stuff to it before reinserting it---neatly---back into my chest cavity. Speaking of which, I need to go see my cardiologist to get a filling for my chest cavity. Too much chocolate. Fab is pretty hot over this. While in his house, I saw some things I shouldn't have. And I overheard some things I shouldn't have. But the bluetooth is worth it all, I tell you. DO YOU HEAR ME! WORTH IT! WORTH IT!!!!!!

Mr. Fabulous---gulp.

Candace---Bluear or Blueear? See? That's why. I hear they're working on a gonad model for both ears. Yeah, they want to call it Blueballs. Sorry, have to run: gotta take this call.

At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 at 11:22:00 PM PST , Blogger Logophile said...

I know why it is called Bluetooth!!
I know I know, ask me, ask me!
Named for a famed historical king, Alfred the Bluetooth.
Stop stealing stuff from Mr Fab, its not nice!!

At Thursday, January 11, 2007 at 9:24:00 AM PST , Blogger Gawpo said...

Logo, you have your hand up. Do you have a question or a comment? You do? A comment? Okay, go ahead. Uh-huh. I see. Yes. Uh-huh. That is very interesting. The class appreciates your input. What's that? Stealing? Not nice? Thank you for bringing that up. I will stop it, then. Thank you. (fade to dr. evil---Rrrriiiggghhhhht)For your information...and I'm sure this will come as no surprise to you...Mr. Fab sort of likes to be violated. But he's got this thing about still-beating hearts.

At Friday, January 12, 2007 at 8:40:00 PM PST , Blogger snavy said...

Hey -- I need a simple hands free for my lg phone if anyone's up to it???

At Saturday, January 13, 2007 at 11:53:00 AM PST , Blogger Logophile said...

Senor Gawpo,
re. my view, I'm more than happy to share that those are the Cascade mountains. More details available if desired, email me (its in my profile).

At Saturday, January 13, 2007 at 12:29:00 PM PST , Blogger Candace said...

Logo - that doesn't help me too much. You're gonna have to spell it out. Was this king big on phonecalls, or did he have a deformed ear that looked like a Bluetooth?

Gawpo - I say you place it in a chest like Davy Jones's. Or a jar of dirt.

At Monday, January 15, 2007 at 3:04:00 PM PST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always wondered what one of those looked like. Here in BFE we're lucky to have touch tone phones.

At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 at 1:41:00 PM PST , Blogger Gawpo said...

Snav--Funny you should mention it. Someone turned in a bluetooth at work yesterday. I got dibs on it for ya!

Logo--email is in the mail.

Candace--I will put it on Davey Jones' ear since Davey, I hear, is in his locker.

Kat--And I thought I lived in BFE.

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