Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Now We're Slapping With Gas

Have you ever thought of something and then said (or heard someone else say): "I don't know what made me think of that"? Well, if you think about it, what made us think of that was our brain. But I don't know what made me think of THAT. Anyway, for some reason known only to my brain, it made me think of how chefs sometimes light their gas stoves. It's a technique handed down from time memorial (since gas stoving hasn't been around beyond that) and it just occured to me that it's a rather nifty trick. What they'll do is, after turning the knob to get the gas going, they will take a 10 inch sautee pan and slap it on the burner. This causes the gas to hurry on over to the pilot without building up and making a big ball of fire as stoves with powerful vent fans often do without the pan slap. It's a dance; it's poetry; it's what a chef does. Sometimes. Reminds me of the hystrionic woman in older movies who, when slapped, says something like, "Thanks. I needed that." Reminds me of the slap to the forehead when I remember that I could have had a V8. The movie slap makes for a more even-burning flame. The V8 slap hopes to serve as a reminder that things are better, smoother, if you grab a V8 next time. It's all about the corrective slap. The slap wakes things up. The slap enlivens. Sometimes it takes a good slap in the face to get our lives back on track. Or to hop over to another one. And if your rear isn't working, try slapping it.


At Tuesday, January 16, 2007 at 1:05:00 PM PST , Blogger Cindra said...

Excellent post! Too true, Gawpo. My hiney works fine, but I prefer to have my ass slapped anyway.

At Tuesday, January 16, 2007 at 2:53:00 PM PST , Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

I masturbated to that second video.

At Tuesday, January 16, 2007 at 3:00:00 PM PST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Somebody needs slapped for that second video. Might as well start with Mr. Fab and then move to the two silly girls who starred in it.

At Tuesday, January 16, 2007 at 3:01:00 PM PST , Blogger Gawpo said...

Cheen-druh, that was supposed to be the rear BURNER you slap. Your ass? Yes, I get it now. Your ass. I don't know what made me think of that.

Mr. Fabulous: Uncanny. I did it to the first one.

At Tuesday, January 16, 2007 at 3:04:00 PM PST , Blogger Gawpo said...

Kat: You of all people. A woman whose first name precedes the kind of fight for which we men pine. Oh yeah, forgot. You aren't a man. Never mind, then. Just one little request, dearheart. When you catch up to them, can Fab and I take video of your correcting them? You know, just for the record? Thanks.

At Tuesday, January 16, 2007 at 6:08:00 PM PST , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just finished reading your extremely disturbing but angular and exhilarating post. I need to be slapped.


At Wednesday, January 17, 2007 at 9:50:00 AM PST , Blogger Gawpo said...

Joe: Sometimes it takes a post such as this to bring us to our senses. Believe me, this was not fun to write. But it had to be said. Now go and get slapped!

At Thursday, January 18, 2007 at 8:22:00 AM PST , Blogger Logophile said...

I have an electric stove, this means my family's home and lives will be spared.
Which is probably for the best.
About that second vid, I can't decide if I am more disturbed by the actual video, or by Mister Fab's reaction.
and angular

At Thursday, January 18, 2007 at 1:54:00 PM PST , Blogger Gawpo said...

Logo---The second video IS of Mr. and Mrs. Fab. Of course, he is the one who groans the loudest. Also, I have been stuck on angular for two days now. Between you and Joe, I get my word fix.

At Tuesday, February 20, 2007 at 11:56:00 PM PST , Blogger Munaz said...

gr8 post Gawpo :) I liked ur last lines very much.

"It's all about the corrective slap. The slap wakes things up. The slap enlivens. Sometimes it takes a good slap in the face to get our lives back on track. Or to hop over to another one. And if your rear isn't working, try slapping it."

It's really true! and it works!

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