Ladle Rat Rotten Hut
When my two sisters and I were kids, our father decided to quit pharmacy and go back to school. Law school. So we packed up our bags and moved to Beverly. Only Beverly was Salt Lake City. But it did have hills. They were called the Wasatch. One day my father came home from school with a sheet of paper with the below text typewritten on it. He had gotten distracted in the library. Ever do that? Uh-huh. I remember reading through the text, altogether as a family, sans our mother of course. Dry sense of humor. Four of us were knee-slapping, rolling on the floor kinds of laughers. Not our Jewish mother. The Sicilian parts were what put the zaney in our clan. Poor mom. Dad also brought home another one entitled: Golilogghese Enna Tre Berrese, but I can't find it anywhere when Googleing it. It's purpose was to use an Italian accent to tell the story. (Logophile could figure it out, no doubt.) Good luck with Ladle Rat Rotten Hut. Read it out loud. Some folks just can't get it. Not to worry. You have to recall the real text and hold it up against that in your head. It will come to you. Cindra's Word Game, eat your heart out!
Ladle Rat Rotten Hut
Wants pawn term, dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner ladle cordage, honor itch offer lodge dock florist. Disk ladle gull orphan worry ladle cluck wetter putty ladle rat hut, an fur disk raisin pimple colder Ladle Rat Rotten Hut.
Wan moaning, Rat Rotten Hut's murder colder inset, "Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter an shirker cockles. Tick disk ladle basking tutor cordage offer groin-murder hoe lifts honor udder site offer florist. Shaker lake! Dun stopper laundry wrote! An yonder nor sorghum-stenches, dun stopper torque wet strainers!"
"Hoe-cake, murder," resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, an tickle ladle basking an stuttered oft. Honor wrote tutor cordage offer groin-murder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten anomalous woof. "Wail, wail, wail!" set disk wicket woof, "Evanescent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut! Wares are putty ladle gull goring wizard ladle basking?"
"Armor goring tumor groin-murder's," reprisal ladle gull. "Grammar's seeking bet. Armor ticking arson burden barter an shirker cockles."
"O hoe! Heifer blessing woke," setter wicket woof, butter taught tomb shelf, "Oil tickle shirt court tutor cordage offer groin-murder. Oil ketchup wetter letter, an den - O bore!"
Soda wicket woof tucker shirt court, an whinney retched a cordage offer groin-murder, picked inner widow, an sore debtor pore oil worming worse lion inner bet. Inner flesh, disk abdominal woof lipped honor bet an at a rope. Den knee poled honor groin-murder's nut cup an gnat-gun, any curdled dope inner bet.
Inner ladle wile, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut a raft attar cordage, an ranker dough belle. "Comb ink, sweat hard," setter wicket woof, disgracing is verse. Ladle Rat Rotten Hut entity bet rum an stud buyer groin-murder's bet.
"O Grammar!" crater ladle gull, "Wood bag icer gut! A nervous sausage bag ice!"
"Battered lucky chew whiff, doling," whiskered disk ratchet woof, wetter wicket small.
"O Grammar, water bag noise! A nervous sore suture anomolous prognosis!"
"Battered small your whiff," insert a woof, ants mouse worse waddling.
"O Grammar, water bag mousy gut! A nervous sore suture bag mouse!"
Daze worry on-forger-nut gulls lest warts. Oil offer sodden, thoroughing offer carvers an sprinkling otter bet, disk curl and bloat-thursday woof ceased pore Ladle Rat Rotten Hut an garbled erupt.
Mural: Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strainers.
What's Going On?
This story, believe it or not, is the very familiar fable of Little Red Riding Hood. This curious version was written in 1940 by a professor of French named H. L. Chace, who wanted to show his students that intonation - that is, the melody of a language - is an integral part of its meaning. The words here are all common English words, but not the ones you'd expect to tell the story of Little Red Riding Hood.